


Personal Space

by skeleton_girl



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Benry isnt really there cause i kind of forgot abt him, Bubby touch averse vs gordon touch starved FIGHT, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Crisis, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, bubby is nice but he'll never admit it, oh yeah gordon is also an ai in this, sorry benry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24732382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeleton_girl/pseuds/skeleton_girl
Summary: Bubby doesn't like being touched, and Gordon is a VERY touchy guy.
Relationships: Bubby & Gordon Freeman
Comments: 20
Kudos: 166





	Personal Space

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a small headcanon about Bubby being touch averse, and quickly became Bubby Grandpa Moments. The dynamic between him and Gordon is underrated imo

Bubby didn't like other people touching him.

It reminded him too much of his... well, it couldn't really be called a childhood. Adolescence? Early life? Constantly being poked and prodded by needles, scalpels and all the other lab equipment Black Mesa used on their prototypes left him with an understandable distaste for human contact.

So needless to say, the first time Gordon clapped a hand on his shoulder, he might have freaked out a bit.

"AH! Let go!" He practically jumped out of his skin, moving out from Gordon's grasp and adding a few feet of distance between them before Gordon could even react.

"Sorry, I-"

"Do you just go around grabbing people like that all the time?" Bubby asked, trying to play off his panic as annoyance. He straightened the shoulder of his lab coat, brushing it off as if Gordon had left some sort of debris on it.

"No! Well, I mean... I-I'm just a touchy guy alright? I didn't mean-"

"Well, you should think twice before you try that again," Bubby cut him off. "If I'd had a gun on me there would be a hole in your chest right now." Which wasn't a complete lie - Bubby had hurt people in his panic once or twice, but he'd never actually _killed_ someone because of it.

"Jesus, okay, you don't have to threaten me," Gordon replied, in that high pitched voice he uses when he gets nervous (which, from what Bubby's noticed, is pretty often). "I won't... do that again."

"Good," Bubby said tersely, having fully regained his composure. "Let's get moving, I'm tired of standing around."

As he began spearheading the group forwards again, he could hear Gordon whisper to the others, "Is he always like that?" He just rolled his eyes and kept moving.

__________

He was acutely aware of his heart pounding in his chest after he downed the last soldier with a shot through the back. They'd killed a lot of people in the relatively short amount of time they spent trying to escape, but that rush of adrenaline always came back during a fight.

"Damn!" Gordon's voice called from behind him. "Nice job Bubby!"

"Fine shooting, Bubby!" Coomer agreed. Bubby turned back to face them.

"These goons are too easy t-" he began, but Gordon cut him off with a shout.

"LOOK OUT!" he raised his arm to fire, but a shot rang out behind Bubby before he could react. Bubby tensed, fear freezing him in place until the sound of the gunshot stopped echoing off the walls. He turned his head to look behind him, and there was Tommy, still standing with his gun raised, hands slightly shaking. Another soldier lay dead on the ground in front of him.

"Fine shooting, Tommy! You saved Dr. Bubby!" Coomer said in the same cheerful tone he always had.

"Jesus, Bubby, are you okay?" Suddenly Gordon was right in front of him, gripping the sides of his arms and looking him up and down.

"I'm fine," he said sharply, shrugging himself out of Gordon's grasp. "Stop manhandling me."

"I'm not-" Gordon started, but cut himself off. "Sorry, I just... you're _covered_ in blood."

Bubby looked down at himself. Blood was spattered all over his lab coat, and he could feel some beginning to soak through his shoes. He rubbed a hand along the side of his face, trying to wipe off whatever blood was there as well, but only succeeded in smearing it.

"It's not mine," he responded.

"Well that's... good." Gordon looked slightly horrified at the sight of Bubby smearing blood down his face, but he gave his head a shake and dismissed it.

"Where'd that guy even come from?" He asked, looking past Bubby now. Tommy pointed up at the ceiling, where a vent they hadn't noticed before was opened.

"How do they even get up there?" Gordon said, exasperated.

"There are many vents in Black Mesa, Gordon!" Coomer said, which didn't really explain anything.

"Y-yeah Mr. Freeman," Tommy chimed in, "and they make them big spec- pecifically so people can climb through them!"

" _Why_ would we need that? We're scientists!" Gordon threw his hands up in the air. "You know what, don't answer that. Let's get going before more boots show up."

"I'm ready to get out of this place," Bubby agreed.

__________

Bubby gnawed on his lip subconsciously as he quickly typed on the keypad with one hand. The screen in front of him changed rapidly, responding to the codes and commands he was inputting. He heard Gordon walk up behind him and look over his shoulder.

"What's-"

"Shh," Bubby said, making his annoyance clear. "I'm concentrating."

"Sorry." He was still hovering over Bubby's shoulder. Bubby sighed dramatically.

"A little space, if you don't mind?" He didn't move his eyes away from the screen - if he looked away for a second he might not be able to react to the many prompts that appeared, and this doorway would be a dead end.

"Right, sorry." Gordon stepped back, and while Bubby could still tell that he was staring at him, it wasn't intrusive. After another minute of intense concentration, the screen flashed green, and there was a satisfying click.

"Yes!" Bubby said, throwing his fists in the air in celebration.

"Holy shit, it actually worked!" Gordon said, walking up next to him as the door slowly slid open.

"What, did you doubt me?" Bubby said.

"No," Gordon said, shaking his head. He was smiling. "'Course not. I've just never seen a lock like that before. That was crazy! It was moving, like, a mile a second and you were just-" he made a motion with his hand, mimicking the way Bubby was typing with an exaggerated expression on his face. "And it just popped open!" He gestured to the door, which was still sliding open, almost comically slowly. "You're a lifesaver, man." He moved as though he was going to clap Bubby on the shoulder again, but stopped himself partway through and gave an awkward thumbs up instead.

Hm. So Gordon _was_ actually paying attention.

"Yes, what would you do without me?" Bubby rolled his eyes as he said it, trying to hide the fact that he was smiling, just a little. "Come on, let's go."

__________

Things had been tense, to say the least. Gordon had agreed to let him out of his tube, which he was grateful for, but it was obvious he still didn't trust him. Benry harassing him certainly wasn't helping either, and it seemed like Gordon didn't even trust Dr. Coomer at times. Not to mention the fact that he kept rambling on about skeletons following them around. Needless to say, Gordon was obviously nearing the end of his rope, and Bubby wasn't sure what would happen when he did.

Bubby sat up with a sigh and looked up through the broken ceiling of the storage room they were resting in. While he often praised himself for his intelligence, sometimes he wished he could just stop thinking for a while. It would certainly make sleeping a lot easier. The stars were out though, so he figured if he couldn't sleep, he'd just do the next best thing: stargaze.

Black Mesa was almost completely dark at night, so there was barely any light pollution. Stars filled the void above their small room, and Bubby recalled the names of the ones he could see, relying on his mental map of the celestial sphere. He wasn't even halfway done before his thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of shuffling as Gordon sat up from his spot in the corner of the room. The younger man leaned his back against the wall, trying not to wake the others with the sounds of his HEV Suit scraping against concrete. He let out a long sigh, rubbing the side of his face with his remaining hand.

"You look like shit."

Gordon nearly jumped to his feet in surprise, muffling his scream so he wouldn't wake the others.

"Jesus man," he whispered, taking a couple breaths to calm himself down. "You scared the shit out of me." Bubby simply hummed in response, turning his gaze back to the ceiling.

"Thought you were gonna take a nap," Gordon said, shuffling closer to Bubby so he didn't have to whisper to him from across the room.

"Can't sleep," Bubby responded without making eye contact.

"Me neither."

"Obviously." Gordon made a quiet "pshhh" noise and followed Bubby's gaze through the hole in the ceiling.

Neither of them said anything for a while, which was a first for any members of the Science Team. It was... comfortable, nice even, but Bubby could tell there was something on Gordon's mind. The silence was peaceful though, so Bubby didn't intend on being the one to break it.

He was several minutes into naming the stars again when Gordon derailed his train of thought.

"What did you see up there?"

Bubby turned to look at him, confusion marking his face for a moment. Gordon was still staring upwards, but his gaze seemed... distant. The dim light the stars provided defined how sickly he looked - the deep bags under his eyes, his skin pale from blood loss. His hair was greasy and he was covered in smears of grime. Bubby felt a pang of guilt knowing that the majority of Gordon's pain was his fault, but he pushed it aside.

"What do you mean?" he asked. It was rhetorical - he knew exactly what Gordon meant. Gordon bit his lip.

"Coomer... Coomer said there was nothing outside Black Mesa," he said. "That this is all there is." Bubby didn't know he could sound so subdued. Gordon turned to meet his gaze. "Was he right? We... we can't leave?"

Bubby had seen the look on Gordon's face when the military cut his hand off with a combat knife. He'd seen him cower behind boxes to avoid aliens, and he'd seen him curl up on the floor when he didn't know how to handle a situation. But even after all that, he'd never seen Gordon look as _vulnerable_ as he does now. Like the fate of the world relies on Bubby's response. He tore his gaze away and looked back up at the stars for a moment, trying to come up with a response.

"I'll be honest with you, Gordon," he said, "I'm not completely sure what I saw. I could see all of Black Mesa from up there, and let me tell you, this place is bigger than even I knew. After that, well... we don't call it 'space' for nothing. It seems like Dr. Coomer was right - I couldn't see anything else for miles, but. It wasn't frightening."

Bubby paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. He could feel Gordon's eyes on him, but he didn't feel comfortable meeting his gaze yet. He wasn't good at being personal with people, and knew that if he saw that look in Gordon's eyes again, he wouldn't know how to respond. So he kept going.

"I don't know if that's what awaits us when we leave Black Mesa, or if it'll be something else entirely. As far as I'm concerned, if this is the world we live in, it's still the same world it's always been. I don't think _knowing_ that should keep us from trying to go on. And if we get to the exit and there's really nothing there, well. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

He was being honest. It would only hurt Gordon more if he lied to him (again), and after all, they _were_ scientists. There was some logical conclusion they could come to, a reason why their world was smaller than they had thought. But he knew that wasn't enough.

"You're right," Gordon said, but it didn't quite sound like he believed himself. "There's no use worrying about it." He finally looked away, pushing himself up onto his feet with more difficulty than a man of his age should have.

"I'm... I should probably try to sleep." He sounded like he was giving up, and oh no, Bubby was _not_ going to have that.

"Oh for God's-" he stood up quickly, and Gordon turned to give him a quizzical look.

"Come here."

Before he could second guess himself, he grabbed Gordon's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. He tensed up at first, and Bubby was worried he'd made a mistake, doing this so soon after he'd hurt him. Gordon felt like a rubber band that was about to snap, but instead he relaxed, leaning into Bubby more than he expected. He's grateful that he was made to be strong.

"I thought you didn't like being touched," Gordon said. His voice was muffled by Bubby's lab coat, but he could still notice it wavering.

"I don't like other people touching _me_ ," Bubby said. "But this is... fine." He wasn't about to admit that it felt nice to give someone a hug for a change. There was silence around them for a moment as Bubby let Gordon lean most of his weight against him, waiting for his breaths to even out. He was obviously trying to hide the fact that he was tearing up, but Bubby wasn't going to call any attention to it. Well... maybe later. When it was more appropriate.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat a tad awkwardly. "Just, ah, don't forget you have two very capable scientists and the Ultimate Lifeform with you. If anyone can figure a way out of this, it's the four of us."

Gordon chuckled at that, and the last bit of worried tension in Bubby's shoulders relaxed.

"Thanks Bubby," he said, pulling away. He wiped at his eyes with his good hand. "I, uh, I think I really needed that." A small smile tugged at his lips, and Bubby allowed himself to return it. Just a little bit.

"Don't mention it," he said. "I mean that. If you say anything about this to the others I'll kill you myself."

"Okay, okay," Gordon held his arms up in mock surrender. "You don't gotta threaten me. This stays between us." He held his right arm against his chest and raised his left hand like he was making a pledge. That small smile stayed on his face as he did, which Bubby took as a success.

"Good," he said. "That's enough touchy-feeliness for tonight. Get some sleep, Gordon."

"I'll try."

Bubby sat back down in his position under the stars. As Gordon moved back to his corner of the small room, he glanced back.

"Thanks again, Bubby."

"Of course."

Bubby remained sitting for a few minutes, staring up at the stars. It wasn't long before Gordon's snoring joined the sounds of the Science Team's steady breathing. Bubby looked over them all, a feeling of affection making his chest squeeze at the sight of them safely asleep. He supposed that if he really was going to be stuck in the void of space for the rest of his life, there were worse people to be stuck with.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been like two whole ass years since I posted but I want to keep writing fics for this fandom, so expect to see more! Thanks for reading!


End file.
